Lmao i told tien about how i was upset bc carolyn wanted to go eat with the guys but i wanted to hang out before the show. And then on the same day she went out with amber kim and kc and i wasnt invited Lol. And then idk why but i thought about it and how it ties back to the psychology thing that says some people are really needy and want attention and people to love them. And idk if that even applies to me bc confirmation bias. But i just got really depressed bc i felt antisocial and unwanted again lmao. Kinda like how i felt sophomore year when i felt left out from everything haha. And it was just a bad feeling because then i felt like i havent changed for the better even though thats how ive been feeling since the beginning of senior year and i was finally happy that i was more outgoing and have more friends just to shrink back to the old me that i hated so much and i guess I just have a lot of hatred for any part of me that i considered unlikable and unwanted. i really do crave wonderful and carefree friendships where i dont get upset over shit like this. I just wish I had the mentality to not care when I feel neglected.